The blue patchwork shorts from the mens section.

Second Post. 10 days later. I'm not very good at this blogging thing. Anyway.

Today I want to talk about perception. How do you perceive yourself? Chances are it's not the way other people perceive you. I'll bet that if those around you told you what they honestly thought, you'd have varied reactions, from mildly surprised to violently horrified.

I recently found out that a fairly new friend of mine, whom I have known for a few months, said of me "She's really cool, once you get passed the shyness." I'm sorry? Me? Shy? Wow! Mildly horrified.

On another occation, I was walking behind a girl who was, for lack of a better word, LARGE. And speaking as a Chubby Girl, I am allowed to say so (otherwise known as "The N-word rule"). A friend with whom I was walking said in hushed tones, "Walking behind this girl is like watching 2 pigs fight under a blanket". I was mildly entertained by her words, until I pondered momentarily. I asked my friend (already knowing the answer was going to be a polite "Weeeell...") "Do I look like that from the back?" She replied with a louder than was appropriate, very animated "Are you kidding me!? That girl has a a pig fight, you have a delightful ba-donk-a-donk." Reassured, I finished my day with confidence that my backside was in good order.

And for the love of crap, we all know that girl who thinks she is much funnier than she actually is, or that guy who has no idea how handsome he is. I feel, and this makes me sad, that we lack a good amount of self awareness in much of our lives. Let's not lie, I am just as guilty as the next person, what with my belief that I can get away with last summer's shorts that I loved so much (the blue patchwork from the mens sections at Old Navy. They didn't work then and they don't work now. There, I said it, I feel better.)

What aspects about us, our personalities, about our lives could we be more honest about? I mean, honest to ourselves. Because, at the end of the day (other than the Lord) who are we accountable to? Ourselves. If the person in the reflection isn't pleased with you, who will be? And so, as I said (in my head) to the chubby emo-kid in the skinny jeans "a little self-awareness, if you please."

In retrospect, this was a little bit of a downer. I'm sorry. I'm not a downer kind-of-a-gal. To make up for it, I'll tell you a joke: What is green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels. Ha ha, delightful.

Fo shizzle

I'm starting a blog. NOT to say that I have anything interesting to say, or that what I have to say should have any baring on your life. I just find funny things, or things that I like on the internet, or from a book, or from a friend, or from a stranger in the next booth at Angie's, and I have comments about it. There aren't many who would want to hear such ideas, so I'm sending it out into the wide world-wide-web (did I use wide too much?).

To begin my first blog entry this fine Saturday night (how sad), I want to talk about pie. No, not 3.14. Pumpkin, chocolate, lemon meringue, banana cream, cheesepie (it's not a cake, it's always a circle, it's a pie and should be referred to as such), and the like. As a Chubby Girl, I've obviously had my share of round, sweet goodness.

And I can't think of a pie that isn't made better by whipped cream! And I'm not talking about Cool Whip from a plastic tub, no no no no no!! I'm talking about cream that has been whipped, as in whipped cream! I'll be honest, when I was a kid, I would see Cool Whip commercials and wonder what exactly it was. My family ALWAYS had real whipped cream for various dessert offerings. Oh man, I'd like some now. So fluffy. So creamy. So sweet. Ahhhhhhh. But I digress.....

I think I might be a pie. I'm round. I'm sweet. I have a crust (what?!?). I'm am well liked by the general public (I assume ;) ). I get along well with whipped cream. All the pieces fit! Excellent.

In conclusion, pumpkin pie should be eaten at all times of the year. Banana Cream pie that doesn't have actual bananas in/on it is an abomination. Cheesepie is a pie, as previously discussed. And I am a pie.

I hope you enjoyed my first offering. I think I'll go seek out a healthy snack (don't worry, I first typed snake, then realized that it was wrong, and went back and changed it. Then I laughed really hard, to the point of tears, about the idea of seeking out a healthy snake). Outstanding.