August 23, 2010. A day of lies.

I wrote a blog either late one night or VERY early one morning about a month ago.

It was all lies.

I take it back.

There are just some things I don't want. Why should I do something just because it's expected of me? Lame.

And now I'm getting a sharp stabbing pain behind my left eye. I have a firm belief that when that happens, I am speaking the truth. Truth pain.

I want adventure, I want bright lights, I want quiet and calm.

I don't want wallpaper, I don't want night lights, I don't want

Am I being selfish? Perhaps. Am I being realistic? Totally.

Don't force your future on me.

I don't need to be taken care of. I am all I need on that front.

Outstanding.

Melvin: 3 years. Penelope: 5 months. Terror.

Penelope is ruining my life. She is a disaster.

Right now she is napping softly, relaxed and not at all trying to bite my face. Give it time, that will change.

Melvin is also napping softly right next to her. The only difference is that he isn't going to try to kill me later.

Melvin and Penelope are the dogs of a friend of mine for whom I am house/pet sitting this week. Pretty sweet gig. Except Penelope. She's clinically insane. And the thing is, she's potty trained! I haven't had to clean up one accident (knock on wood, finger's crossed, turn around 3 times) and I still think she is a minor pain in my butt!!

And romanticized ideas I had about getting a puppy are loooooooooong gone. Don't let those enormous, sad, grape sized eyes fool you, she is a menace to society. Melvin on the other hand is a phenomenon. He is so relaxed. He loves nothing more than sitting next to me on the couch and watching TV. Or rather, I'm watching TV. Not sure what he's doing. But he's doing it quietly, so it makes little matter to me.

Hooray for dogs.

Blog decoration or "HEY! Read my blog!!"

How do I make my blog all decorated. Also, how do I incript pictures onto it? Funny pictures make my life better. Any info is loved and appreciated.

Glorious.

Late one Sunday night, or Monday morning.

I find it all but insane that in the space of 3 months, the things that were once so very important become less so. And all of a sudden, things that were not wanted, things that you thought you'd never be ready for, become all you want.

Years ago, I always thought that I didn't want certain things, that they were fine for some, but not for me. I'm just not your average example of an American 20-something. And the pressure to acquire various "trophies", certain finish lines that one must cross, becomes more than one can bare.

But when you're young, you have this image of your future life. You make boundaries you'd never dream of crossing.

It's no longer a pressure, an expectation, a requirement. I have a certain acceptance of what I want. It's ok to want it! It doesn't make me less, it doesn't make me unintelligent. It doesn't mean I've given up, or that I don't have dreams. Dreams can change.

It can't be for anyone else. It's got to be because you really want it.

And I do.

Outstanding.

The blue patchwork shorts from the mens section.

Second Post. 10 days later. I'm not very good at this blogging thing. Anyway.

Today I want to talk about perception. How do you perceive yourself? Chances are it's not the way other people perceive you. I'll bet that if those around you told you what they honestly thought, you'd have varied reactions, from mildly surprised to violently horrified.

I recently found out that a fairly new friend of mine, whom I have known for a few months, said of me "She's really cool, once you get passed the shyness." I'm sorry? Me? Shy? Wow! Mildly horrified.

On another occation, I was walking behind a girl who was, for lack of a better word, LARGE. And speaking as a Chubby Girl, I am allowed to say so (otherwise known as "The N-word rule"). A friend with whom I was walking said in hushed tones, "Walking behind this girl is like watching 2 pigs fight under a blanket". I was mildly entertained by her words, until I pondered momentarily. I asked my friend (already knowing the answer was going to be a polite "Weeeell...") "Do I look like that from the back?" She replied with a louder than was appropriate, very animated "Are you kidding me!? That girl has a a pig fight, you have a delightful ba-donk-a-donk." Reassured, I finished my day with confidence that my backside was in good order.

And for the love of crap, we all know that girl who thinks she is much funnier than she actually is, or that guy who has no idea how handsome he is. I feel, and this makes me sad, that we lack a good amount of self awareness in much of our lives. Let's not lie, I am just as guilty as the next person, what with my belief that I can get away with last summer's shorts that I loved so much (the blue patchwork from the mens sections at Old Navy. They didn't work then and they don't work now. There, I said it, I feel better.)

What aspects about us, our personalities, about our lives could we be more honest about? I mean, honest to ourselves. Because, at the end of the day (other than the Lord) who are we accountable to? Ourselves. If the person in the reflection isn't pleased with you, who will be? And so, as I said (in my head) to the chubby emo-kid in the skinny jeans "a little self-awareness, if you please."

In retrospect, this was a little bit of a downer. I'm sorry. I'm not a downer kind-of-a-gal. To make up for it, I'll tell you a joke: What is green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels. Ha ha, delightful.

Fo shizzle

I'm starting a blog. NOT to say that I have anything interesting to say, or that what I have to say should have any baring on your life. I just find funny things, or things that I like on the internet, or from a book, or from a friend, or from a stranger in the next booth at Angie's, and I have comments about it. There aren't many who would want to hear such ideas, so I'm sending it out into the wide world-wide-web (did I use wide too much?).

To begin my first blog entry this fine Saturday night (how sad), I want to talk about pie. No, not 3.14. Pumpkin, chocolate, lemon meringue, banana cream, cheesepie (it's not a cake, it's always a circle, it's a pie and should be referred to as such), and the like. As a Chubby Girl, I've obviously had my share of round, sweet goodness.

And I can't think of a pie that isn't made better by whipped cream! And I'm not talking about Cool Whip from a plastic tub, no no no no no!! I'm talking about cream that has been whipped, as in whipped cream! I'll be honest, when I was a kid, I would see Cool Whip commercials and wonder what exactly it was. My family ALWAYS had real whipped cream for various dessert offerings. Oh man, I'd like some now. So fluffy. So creamy. So sweet. Ahhhhhhh. But I digress.....

I think I might be a pie. I'm round. I'm sweet. I have a crust (what?!?). I'm am well liked by the general public (I assume ;) ). I get along well with whipped cream. All the pieces fit! Excellent.

In conclusion, pumpkin pie should be eaten at all times of the year. Banana Cream pie that doesn't have actual bananas in/on it is an abomination. Cheesepie is a pie, as previously discussed. And I am a pie.

I hope you enjoyed my first offering. I think I'll go seek out a healthy snack (don't worry, I first typed snake, then realized that it was wrong, and went back and changed it. Then I laughed really hard, to the point of tears, about the idea of seeking out a healthy snake). Outstanding.